1. ugly:

    faketual:

    Perks of dating me: I’ll let you sleep on my boobs

    done deal

    (via dimplesmcsassmaster)

     

  2. Confidence goals: Kanye West 

    Attitude goals: Rihanna

    Money goals: Beyonce

    (Source: xoxwanderlustxox, via ryan--torf)

     

  3. presidentmikasa:

    officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

    if u ever feel sad remember that robert englund once took a nap on the set of a nightmare on elm street in full freddy krueger makeup and when he woke up he looked straight into a mirror and scared the shit out of himself

    this is the best story

    (via croatoan-newt)

     

  4. mads-next-meal:

    I could literally sleep for a year.

    (via im-your-wicked-uncle-moonie)

     

  5. I just want hickeys and self esteem

     

  6. stansusedbloggingemporium:

    When I was just starting high school, a girl who rode my bus invited me to stay the night at her house and when I did she got really emotional and told me no girls ever stayed over because she was a lesbian and if you don’t think that’s the saddest thing ever you need to re-evaluate your life

    (via hotbandimaginesandsmut)

     

  7. sydloohoo:

    "When did you decide to be gay?"

    Last week. I woke up and I was like I want to be judged and not accepted by most of society and denied basic human rights. I thought it would be fun to not be allowed to get married and to be called rude names when I’m with the person I love. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?

    (via hotbandimaginesandsmut)

     

  8. unprintable:

    I’ll cry at my wedding because it’s a miracle it’s happening

    (Source: unprintable, via inspiringstrombros)

     

  9. theanti90smovement:

    very small dog? puppy

    very big dog? puppy

    very young dog? puppy

    very old dog? puppy

    puppy? puppy

    (via bubbleheaded-blonde-bimbo)

     

  10. 2srooky:

    One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.

    (via bubbleheaded-blonde-bimbo)

     

  11. unpresentable:

    the-beauty-in-breakdown:

    unpresentable:

    doughnuthunter:

    unpresentable:

    I’m good at math. U + I = 69

    Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10

    oh

    No. U + I = 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Cause we got chemistry.

    for god’s sake why all these people are so smooth omg

    (via aggressiveharrys)

     

    1. Me: Okay, it's 5am, so this episode will be the last episode for tonight.
    2. Episode: *ends on cliff hanger*
    3. Me: *deep, long sigh*
    4. Me:
    5. Me:
    6. Me: Dammit *clicks next episode*
     

  12. bettywhite4ever:

    I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

    (Source: andrewbelami, via bubbleheaded-blonde-bimbo)

     

  13. blueflight:

    [AGGRESSIVELY APOLOGIZES FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND AND AN UNPLEASANT PERSON TO BE AROUND]

    (via bubbleheaded-blonde-bimbo)

     

  14. askgeorgebush:

    petition to change the word ‘graveyard’ to ‘skeleton farm’

    (via bubbleheaded-blonde-bimbo)